Expert explains benefits of being ‘self-partnered’ after Emma Watson’s comments on relationship status

Emma Watson once described herself as ‘self-partnered’ instead of single, and the term rather took off in popularity.

She’d been speaking to Vogue in 2019 when she was asked about her relationship status, and the Little Women star talked about the anxiety of turning 30.

“If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out,” she said.

“There’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.”

Watson said she used not to be convinced by people who were single and said they were happy until she had it happen to her, with the realisation that she was single and content to be so leading her to say she was ‘self-partnered’.

Four years later, she told Vogue she’d ‘figured out some things about how to care for myself better’ and has been proud of that.

Emma Watson said she was 'self-partnered' rather than single, and the term caught on. (Arnold Jerocki/GC Images)

Emma Watson said she was ‘self-partnered’ rather than single, and the term caught on. (Arnold Jerocki/GC Images)

Writing as someone who has just recently turned 30 and also does not have a home, spouse or baby, there is a certain measure of existential dread that occasionally hits you.

You wonder whether you’re ever actually going to meet the one and have the life with the milestones you always assumed you’d hit, even if you didn’t put much thought into it during your 20s.

Once you hit 30, it can feel like the clock is tick-tick-ticking. A lot has happened since I was 20, but now I’m 30, which is basically 40, that’s halfway to dead.

Comparison is sometimes described as the thief of joy, and it’s also a time in your life where you see plenty around you starting to hit these major milestones.

Friends are getting married, having kids and suddenly find the topic of getting the stairs re-carpeted fascinating.

While many of us singletons are aiming to get back into a relationship, an expert has explained that there are some real benefits to being ‘self-partnered‘.

"Looking good, buddy." "Aww thanks, I needed that this morning." (Getty Stock Photo)

“Looking good, buddy.” “Aww thanks, I needed that this morning.” (Getty Stock Photo)

Joshua Ludlam, who calls himself an ‘exponential coach’, said that he’d been self-partnered for a time during which he ‘had to learn to drop shame and love myself so I could let someone else love me’.

He said: “I had to practice being seen in my flaws and insecurities so I could stay in hard conversations.”

He added that taking the time for himself let him really understand what he wanted from a relationship, so he could be more confident about ending the ones which were ‘close but not quite what I wanted’.

That’s his view on the benefits, by being your own partner you work on yourself and figure out what you want, so you can also recognise when something isn’t quite what you wanted.

To be truly honest with you, dear reader, there are some benefits to this ‘self-partnered’ business.

There’s never any disagreements over what to have for tea, or indeed for what to stick on the telly that night.

If I decide I suddenly want to go and do something, it turns out they were thinking the exact same thing. And if they get annoyed with me for spending an hour and a half after I clock off my shift sitting on the sofa doom-scrolling on my phone, then I’m right there with them.

Find what works for you.

Featured Image Credit: Tiktok/thejoshualudlam/ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images

Topics: Emma WatsonCelebritySex and RelationshipsDating trends

Emma Watson clarified what she meant by being 'self-partnered' after being asked about her relationship status

Emma Watson clarified what she meant by being ‘self-partnered’ after being asked about her relationship status

The Harry Potter star cleared up what she meant after using the term to describe her love life

Olivia Burke

Olivia Burke

As well as being an incredible actress, Emma Watson also has a knack for coining dating terms which seem to really resonate with a lot of people, too.

She gave us all a new piece of lingo to incorporate into our love lives a few years ago which is still going strong, but she wanted to clear up exactly what she meant by it to avoid any confusion.

Back in 2019, ahead of her thirtieth birthday, Watson was quizzed about her relationship status during an interview with Vogue, and how she felt about where she was in life as she approached the milestone.

The Harry Potter star opened up about how she ‘had all these ideas’ about where she should be when entering the third decade of her life, which made her feel ‘stressed and anxious‘ about things she hadn’t got around to yet.

“And I realise it’s because there is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around,” Watson said.

The actress, 34, described herself as 'self-partnered' rather than single (TOLGA AKMEN/AFP via Getty Images)

The actress, 34, described herself as ‘self-partnered’ rather than single (TOLGA AKMEN/AFP via Getty Images)

She continued: “If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out…

“There’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.”

She went on to explain that she had never been convinced that people who claimed to be happy while single were actually content with their situation – until she herself realised she was at peace without a significant other.

Watson added: “It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”

So, what exactly does this mean?

Well, the term essentially describes a single person who is completely satisfied staying that way – they are fulfilled by themselves and don’t feel as though they need a relationship to complete them.

And it’s certainly a lot more sophisticated than dubbing yourself a single pringle with a smile on your face, isn’t it?

Watson explained what she meant by the term (Taylor Hill/FilmMagic)

Watson explained what she meant by the term (Taylor Hill/FilmMagic)

Either way, people loved Watson’s take on single life and being ‘self-partnered’ became pretty popular.

But the Beauty and the Beast actress wanted to clarify exactly what she meant by the phrase when she sat down with Vogue again in December 2023, while discussing how she was comfortable with the path she was on in life.

Watson, 34, explained her comment wasn’t ‘necessarily about her celebrating being single’ but rather realising that she was appreciative of how she had become so comfortable flying solo.

She said: “Getting to the point when I was 30, I was realising, ‘Oh, maybe I’ve figured out some things about how to care for myself better – maybe quite well, actually’. And taking pride in that.”

But like the rest of us, she still leans on her tight knit circle of friends and family to help her through.

Watson added: “Coming out of Covid, I really understood the importance of building community, having community and investing, very intentionally, time and energy into that.”

Still, she didn’t close herself off entirely to love – and has reportedly been dating fellow Oxford University student Kieran Brown since July 2024.

Featured Image Credit: TOLGA AKMEN/AFP via Getty Images/Taylor Hill/FilmMagic

Topics: Emma WatsonCelebritySex and RelationshipsDating trends

Expert explains what viral 'orange peel' relationship theory actually tests

Expert explains what viral ‘orange peel’ relationship theory actually tests

An expert has weighed in on the trend

Claire Reid

Claire Reid

A psychologist has weighed in on the ‘orange peel’ test that’s causing mayhem in people’s relationships.

For those unaware, the dating trend, which has spread like wildfire on TikTok, involves women asking their partners to peel an orange for you and – apparently – it’s an absolute red flag if boyfriends fail.

TikToker Anna Birmingham explained: “When your partner does an act of service for you that’s something that you are perfectly capable of doing on your own.”

Would you peel an orange for your other-half?

Pexels/Robin Kumar Biswal

She went on to say that this is for ‘really small stuff’ like, you guessed it, like ‘peeling an orange’.

Birmingham continued: “Let’s say that for whatever reason I hate peeling my oranges, but I really like oranges. I ask my partner ‘hey babe would you mind peeling this orange for me?’

“And they can either respond with ‘of course love, not a problem at all’. Or they can say ‘no, you are perfectly capable of peeling that orange yourself’.

“Or maybe my partner already knows that I really don’t f*ck with citrus and has the orange already peeled and prepared for me.”

While it may seem fairly simple, psychologist and relationship expert Alexandra Solomon says there’s a little bit more to it than meets the eye.

Speaking to Vox, Solomon said the test is really asking: “Are you there for me? Or, to what degree are you willing or able or wanting to take care of me? So that’s my first thought: What are people asking about or seeking when they do this test?”

However, just because it has a deeper meaning, doesn’t mean it’s all good.

“The worry that I have is that I prefer us to talk directly to our partners about our needs rather than setting up a test,” Solomon added.

A psychologist has weighed in on the dating trend.

Pexels/Anna Nekrashevich

“And certainly, rather than setting up a test that goes public, because I think the risk here is humiliation.”

Not only that but Solomon also warns against putting too faith in a two-minute test.

When asked if it would be a good idea to end a relationship if your other-half fails the test.

She replied: “You should not. But maybe you should say, ‘I’d love it if you peeled me an orange’ or ‘I love it when you provide me with a little snack.’ Teach your partner what loving you well means.”

Featured Image Credit: Tim Robberts/Daniel Day/Getty Images

Topics: Dating trendsTikTokSex and Relationships

Emma Watson walked off set of This Is The End after refusing to film disgusting scene

Emma Watson walked off set of This Is The End after refusing to film disgusting scene

Seth Rogen said she was right to do so

Michael Slavin

Michael Slavin

When it comes to films like This is The End, most actors have a fairly good idea of what they’re signing up for.

Whether it be Channing Tatum in a gimp suit, the numerous shot at every single actor’s career with them playing themselves, or just one of the many, many weird scenes in the film, the actors were pushed to their limits of comfort comedically.

For those who live under a rock, This is The End follows a group of Hollywood celebrities, all of whom are playing heightened versions of themselves.

This Is The End Trailer
Credit: Sony
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James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Craig Robinson, Jonah Hill, and Danny McBride star in the film, and try to survive the end of the world.

From Rogen and his fellow Superbad cocreator Evan Goldberg, the film has developed a cult following and managed to rake in over $125 million when it came out in 2013.

One actor who didn’t quite enjoy the male-focused and sometimes crude humour of the film, however, was Emma Watson.

Watson, who did make a small appearance in the film, walked off the set of the film, a move which Seth Rogen later said she was right to do.

Watson in This is The End (Sony Pictures)

Watson in This is The End (Sony Pictures)

The Harry Potter actor reportedly refused to film a scene involving Channing Tatum in a gimp mask being walked on a chain by a now cannibalistic Danny McBride.

Whilst unclear what the scene involving Watson would have entailed, a final version of this did end up making the film without her in it.

Rogen said in an interview with GQ in 2021: “I mean, I don’t look back on that and think: ‘How dare she do that?’ You know?

“I think sometimes when you read something, when it comes to life, it doesn’t seem to be what you thought it was.

“But it was not some terrible ending to our relationship. She came back the next day to say goodbye.

The pair at the films premiere (Alberto E Rodriguez via Getty Images)

The pair at the films premiere (Alberto E Rodriguez via Getty Images)

“She helped promote the film.

“No hard feelings and I couldn’t be happier with how the film turned out in the end.”

“She was probably right. It was probably funnier the way we ended up doing it.”

The film is fairly batsh*t, so it is relatively shocking that they got all the celebrities they did to agree to it.

In previous interviews, Evan Goldberg said he made it a goal of his to get actors to say ‘no’ on set, and the only holdouts throughout filming was James Franco and Seth Rogen.

Featured Image Credit: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Elton John AIDS Foundation and Sony Pictures

Topics: Emma WatsonFilmSeth RogenTV and FilmCelebrity

Expert explains ‘real reasons’ why people cheat on their partners in relationships

Expert explains ‘real reasons’ why people cheat on their partners in relationships

Infidelity can often say more about your inner feelings than an attraction to another person

Brenna Cooper

Brenna Cooper

A psychotherapist and dating expert has revealed the reasons why she believes some people cheat in long-term relationships.

The answer to the question of ‘Why do people cheat?’ is one which is fraught with conflict and earth-shattering emotions from anyone who has gone through the awful experience of being cheated on.

Ask somebody why they think people cheat on their significant other and you’ll probably hear a number of responses along the lines of ‘they’re selfish’ or ‘they have no self control’ – except with a lot more expletives.

However, Esther Perel maintains that the ‘real’ reasons why people cheat in relationships aren’t always straight forward.

Infidelity can be one of the most soul-crushing experiences to go through. (Getty Stock Images)

Infidelity can be one of the most soul-crushing experiences to go through. (Getty Stock Images)

Appearing on a recent episode of the Diary of a CEO podcast, Perel, 66, was asked by host Steven Bartlett about the reasons why.

“People cheat for a whole host of reasons,” Perel said before explaining that not all affairs stem from a poor relationship.

After spending over a decade studying infidelity, Perel says the motivations for cheating changes from person to person but it usually boils down to loneliness, resentment of a partner or the need to receive affirmation from another person for self esteem.

“They cheat for a whole host of reasons that have to do with conflict and discontent and disconnection,” she added.

However she also noted that not all affairs are due to a dysfunctional relationship as they can also happen in ‘happy couples too’.

“It’s not as much [that] you want to leave the person you are with as much as you want to leave the person that you have become,” Perel explained.

Perel has spent a decade speaking with people who've had affairs. (YouTube/@The Diary of a CEO)

Perel has spent a decade speaking with people who’ve had affairs. (YouTube/@The Diary of a CEO)

“It’s not that you want to meet another person as much as you want to meet another self or other parts of yourself that have disappeared in your life.

“At the heart of affairs you find longing, and loss, and yearning.”

She then went on to reveal that the one word she heard the most during her research of affairs was the word ‘alive’, adding that they often serve as ‘erotic plots’ to many people.

So, if affairs occur due to a need for spontaneity, how can a couple in a long-term relationship avoid the trap of infidelity?

“An affair is often experienced as an antidote to that kind of deadness,” Perel said, adding that couples can avoid this by putting ‘10% of the creative imagination’ needed for an affair into their marriage.

Perel’s findings aren’t unique either, with a recent thread discussing the topic on Reddit throwing out reasons such as ‘cowardice’, ‘issues within yourself’ and needing to fill ‘an emotional void’.

Featured Image Credit: Youtube/Diary of a CEO/Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and RelationshipsDating trends

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